Desperation
by LunesWraith
Summary: It's what fueled the Order to research Allen, what drove Lavi, Kanda and Lenalee to find Allen as a child and find out what they could. It's what blurred the lines between dog and boy for Mana Walker, and it's what let Allen allow those lines to blur.
1. Desperation

Unattended papers were strewn across the floor as usual, a sharp contrast to the neat volumes lined along the walls of the most important office of European Branch. The single sofa of the room was occupied by Lenalee, Lavi and Kanda, the latter sitting with his arms crossed in his usual unattached manner. The group were listening to Komui explaining a recent discovery in Miranda's ability to manipulate time, while she herself stood awkwardly near his desk, hands clasped in a worried fashion.

"So you want to pry?" Lenalee asked, sceptical and annoyed. She glared at her brother, while he tried to explain.

"The Central Office need as much information as they can about the 14th with Allen under current circumstances. Please understand Lenalee, I don't want to be doing this any more than you do, but Allen's past could hold some answers as to what is happening now."

Nobody looked comfortable, even Kanda, but Lavi piped up grinning cheerfully, "It could be fun, I mean I always wanted to know what Allen was like as a kid."

"It's not right though…" Lenalee said quietly.

"Well, think of it more as recon on Mana, so we can help Allen now." Lavi assured her with a smile.

Kanda looked up at Komui, "How does this even work, anyway?"

Komui cleared his throat, glad at the topic change, "In a recent study, we found that the time of individuals can be temporarily placed in section of another's time, but under strict circumstances."

Raising an eyebrow, Kanda replied, "Which are?"

"All of the individuals being placed in that section of time must have visited that place at one point during their lives, or 'time'. So if I wanted to show you my home as a child, for example, you must have visited the same place at some point during your own life. Additionally, we must not alter the course of time, only view it with as little interference as possible." Komui answered, switching his eyes across the trio.

Lavi spoke confidently, "Sounds easy enough for the future bookman" and rested his arms on the sofa behind them.

Komui continued, "The only people who have been in the same area which both Mana and Allen worked in in the past, are you three and General Cross. So you four will be the ones going.

"General Cross too?" Lavi said, surprised.

The director nodded, "He seemed a little more than interested, and he will be going later than the rest as he's running a little late. Also, Miranda is only capable of sending a maximum of 4 people at one time, so you'll be alone. However our time will be viewed by members of Central and the Science department in case something goes wrong."

"I imagine the ol' panda will be sticking his nose in too, if I know him," Lavi said.

"Well, this is something to be recorded, after all," Komui replied finally smiling- worry for Allen had been taking it's toll on everyone. "One last thing before we proceed, you will be transported to the vague area that Allen was in, we wont know exactly where he is and you can only wander as far as the four of you have been."

"Tch. So you're telling me we have to hunt the damn bean sprout down? That could take years." Kanda said.

"Hey, he worked in a circus, right? He can't be that difficult to find," Lavi said optimistically, "Besides, we know Allen, he'll be easy to recognize."

* * *

><p>"Be careful!" Were the last words from Miranda the three of them heard as they travelled through the time of Allen Walker, finally landing on a dusty dirt path in a town in England.<p>

"Well, now what?" Lavi said, as Kanda immediately started walking off.

"We find the brat, complete the mission, then leave." He said, in his usual focussed way.

"Aw, come one, let's at least have some fun first!" Lavi bounced in the direction of the town ahead, while a smiling Lenalee followed.

Reaching the town, the four searched in a group, Komui relaying certain information through the earring to he three of them. After a while Kanda grew more and more annoyed, and finally said "Just where the hell is the damn kid! don't you have any idea?" he demanded to Komui.

"Don't blame us, kid!" Reever's voice answered, and Lenalee suggested, "Maybe we could ask for directions to the circus."

"Hey! Oh, sorry kid" Lavi exclaimed and the group turned to see a reddish-brown haired boy on the floor near Lavi, picking himself up. He didn't say anything as he rose, but skulked off quickly though the crowds, disappearing completely.

"What happened?" Lenalee asked.

"Nothing, I was just walking, and I must not have noticed the kid and knocked him over", he laughed.

"Stupid rabbit," Kanda muttered.

Lavi ignored the comment, but then furrowed his eyebrows and searched his pockets, "Hey- my money's missing! That kid must have stolen it!" He looked up in the direction he'd run off to, and quickly pursued, the others following immediately. He pushed his way past the throng, but it refused to relent and Lavi couldn't catch sight of the kid. He came to a stop by a fountain, eyes still searching fruitlessly.

"Dammit," he muttered.

"No point worrying about it now, we might as well look for the circus." Lenalee said.

"Well, we wont have to look far," Kanda said, glaring fiercely at a gaggle of clowns walking backwards on a multicoloured ball. They were all heading in the same direction, with a string of interested citizens tagging along. Different coloured balloons floated up in the sky ahead of them, and the group followed them all the way until they came across dozens of large tents, with brightly dressed people running around.

A dog barked, and ran past the group towards a man dressed in a black coat, who smiled and patted his head affectionately. A grumpy looking clown passed them, and glared at the man before barking out "Red! Where the hell are you? I need those damn cards!" he stalked off, muttering while the black coated man watched and sighed.

"I thought clowns were meant to be all cheerful and stuff?" Lavi asked, and Kanda shrugged, clearly not bothered.

The black-coated man laughed, and said "Most are, but Cosimo gets a bit competitive and sulks when he loses popularity." He smiled good naturedly, and bowed politely as they approached.

"Just like an annoying bean sprout. Too polite." Kanda said rudely.

"Hello, my name's Lavi, and we were wondering if you knew someone by the name of Mana Walker? I think he works somewhere round here."

"That would be me, and I do indeed work here. It's nice to meet you." He replied, with an outstretched had, and said, "What was it you needed?" Lavi shook the preferred hand, and began to speak.

"You wouldn't happen to know a kid named Allen, would you?" Kanda interrupted curtly.

Mana looked surprised, "No, I don't believe there's anyone here called that except my dog here." He smiled again at these words, and patted the dog's head, who barked once in content. The group were taken aback by the news, and Mana looked back to them.

"Was that all you needed? I think my act is about to start."

"Ah, that's all thank you." Lenalee said, thinking. Mana bowed again, and left with the dog.

_~"What? So where's Walker?"~ _The small voice of Bak and random background yells of Komui could be heard from Lavi's earring, and he frowned.

"We'll just have to look, maybe Mana doesn't know Allen yet." Lenalee said.

"More trouble than he's worth…" Kanda mumbled grumpily and searched with the others around the tents. They asked most of the circus staff they met, but not one person knew of an Allen other than Mana's faithful dog. They said there were plenty of kids, but most don't stay too long, and if they remembered their names they named none to be Allen.

They found some rows of benches near a strong smell of cooking food, and decided that they should stop to eat.

Lavi sprawled across the table in exasperation, and the others sat down too. Lenalee said "Allen must have had it rough here, I had never even thought about how his life must have been before Cross, I had thought that was the only bad part."

"Seems it's just the only part he's willing to talk about. But why, anyway? It can't be any better than here!" He gestured round vaguely, then stopped when he noticed something, then suddenly stood and said, "Hey, look! It's that kid!" He pointed towards the direction of the carnival kitchens, and there on the bench closest to the cooks, was the red headed kid.

Lavi jogged over, and yelled "Oi you, gimme back my money!"

Lenalee started, "Lavi, be a bit-"

"Screw you, jerk, I never stole nothin'!" The boy retorted, silver-grey eyes flashing in annoyance. He was peppered in bruises and scratches, as if he's taken more than a few hits, but he seemed to be able to sport them well.

Lavi didn't notice though, "I know you did, ya brat" he muttered, and slumped opposite the boy. The others sat down around him too, and Lenalee tried to reason with him.

"We don't mind that you took it, but we might be needing it. So do you mind if we have it back, please?"

The boy replied, "I don't care and I already spent it, so tough luck", he spread his hands.

"Jeez, you sure are a rude kid. And how the hell can you spend that much amount of money so quickly?" Lavi replied.

"Here ya go, Red. Took a while, but it's finally ready." Two scruffy looking cooks came over to the table, arms laden with plates and plates of food. The group sat, stunned, while they piled them around the bad tempered kid, who began eating ravenously right away.

"Fanks, Dennish." He growled through the food in his mouth.

"Red, huh?" Lavi said, watching in awe at the kid, "You hungry, then?"

"I'm always hungry. Now get lost" Red said, around his third bowl.

"Tch fine, can we go now?" Kanda said impatiently, but the others were still staring.

"I've only known one guy with an appetite like that, but he can't really be…" Lenalee spoke, but Red kept eating and finished quickly. Barely five minutes- she was counting.

"You still here?" Red said, leaning back against the wood behind him.

"What's your real name? You can't really be called Red, what'd your parents call you?" Lavi said, leaning on his leg and closing in on the boy.

"I don't know and I don't care." he replied, completely ignoring Lavi trying to stare him down.

Before they could retaliate, a call of "Oi, Red!" rung out and, as if by nature, the rude boy hopped from the bench and scampered off with a scowl on his face.

The group followed and hid themselves to watch the boy some more, and Lenalee said, "It couldn't really be him, could it?"

"It can't be, he's way too rude. People don't change that much for no reason." Lavi said, chin in his hands as he watched.

"I guess we didn't know as much about Allen as we thought…" Lenalee said sadly, her lips pursed. "We can't even tell who he is".

They watched the boy get bossed about, ordered to do the most mundane and simple things just because they couldn't be bothered to it themselves. When it seemed he was free, he stood awkwardly, as if he actually had to get used to the fact he could do what he wanted for a while. But soon, he walked off with his hands in his pockets, and a scowl still planted firmly on his face.

"Now I'm sure that it's not him." Lavi said, sitting on a crate. They had been wandering round the private tents, trying to search for another boy who could be Allen, occasionally running into Red hurrying around doing errands for the actors. After some more searching, they entered the tent with a large sign entitled 'Magic and Tricks' above the entrance, and spotted Mana, Cosimo and an acrobat in the middle of a heated discussion.

Kanda had been irked to the end of his patience, and the others were getting desperate in their search. But when they passed Mana and the other two, they paused at their argument.

"-sabotage. I know you did Mana, so stop trying to deny it!" The clown named Cosimo was jabbing Mana in his chest, a snarl on his face. The acrobat had his arms crossed, and was tapping his foot impatiently with an expectant glare at Mana.

"Honestly, Cosimo I would never do something like that," Mana politely tried to defend himself.

"Don't you play dumb, you bastard!" Cosimo moved forward and grabbed the front of Mana's jacket threateningly, and immediately his dog- Allen, pounced and bit down on Cosimo's ankle hard. He released Mana with a yelp and lashed out a kick at the dog, who retreated back to his master, then limped away with the acrobat following. Mana patted the dog, muttering his thanks.

"Wonder what all that was about" Lavi said to the others, and Kanda just 'tsk-ed' as usual.

Lenalee suggested they move on, and they had only just entered a similar looking tent when they stopped again.

Red was walking past, eyes down, until a drunken clown sitting on a nearby bench grabbed his shoulder. "Where're you goin, Red? Off'ta be useless somewhere else? Eh?" He shook the boy roughly by the scruff of his neck, while Red struggled to maintain balance.

"Get- get off me!" He gritted his teeth, and failed at prying the finger away from his ragged shirt.

The man growled and threw him to the floor, "damn freak, shoulda let ya die, never shoulda let 'em take you in to work. Useless demon child."

Red's face contorted with anger, and dragged himself back off the floor and dusted himself down uselessly, then turned to yell a string of curses at the men until one struck him across the face.

"What-!" Lenalee started forward, but Kanda threw his hand out, stopping her. He said, "Don't. We can't interfere, remember? Just let it be." Despite his words his face seemed almost strained. She nodded. Komui had said that although they were only placed in a temporary timeline and any actions wont have consequences for the future, he warned that they shouldn't interfere so as to let things go on naturally, to record the true events as they had happened. That being said, it didn't make things easier. Could this boy really be the ever-smiling and polite Allen Walker?

Red clutched his face and from the ground, he launched himself at the man, punching fiercely for his age and size. He grabbed the beer glass and smashed it down on the man's head, until he was dragged backwards by one of the man's drinking acquaintances, and the group left, leaving Red in a dishevelled heap upon the floor. The four of them could only watch and say nothing, no matter how much they wanted to. The boy sprung to his feet quickly though, not allowing himself to be thrown down, and scampered off haughtily. Bystanders who belonged to the circus barely paid any attention, indicating that this was a pretty regular occurrence.

Mana had disappeared, and the group had trouble finding him again, and so decided to go back to finding Allen. They're search was unsurprisingly difficult.

"Another Walker? No, Mana is the only one with that name."

"He 'might' have grey eyes, but you don't know his name or his hair colour? Are you kiddin'?"

"You don't even know his age? Roughly eight-ish?"

"If you told me his parents' names I might be able to help, though…"

They had little to no information to go on, until Lavi remembered something obvious.

"Oh, but he does have a…deformed arm. And a scar! Oh wait, he doesn't have that yet…"

Kanda kicked him in the shins, "stupid rabbit! Don't give detail."

But the man answered them, "Ah, deformed arm, eh? Yeah, that'll be Red alright. Violent tempered kid, though, you mind yourself. He insults anyone who bothers him and attacks anyone that annoys him. He's miserable brat, that one. Even his parents don't want him, not surprised he tried to kill himself…" The man kept muttering at he walked away.

"Oh…thank you." Lenalee answered, surprised. "'His parents don't want him'? What's all that about?"

"It's pretty difficult making a living in this day and age. Having a kid with a deformed arm, or any deformities for that matter, means more work to take care of them and less chance of them getting a decent job."

"That's horrible!" Lenalee replied.

"That's life" Lavi shrugged, but his face had a defining sad quality to it.

"What does he mean he 'tried to kill himself'? Do you think maybe the deformity is burn scars? I doubt that boy could really be Allen." Lenalee carried on.

"This conversation is getting us no where, let's just go look for that rude kid." Kanda said in a huff, a strange look on his face ever since he heard the man's words. They had all seen Allen smile at the most impossibly hopeless times, and he was always cheerful no matter what life threw at him. None of them had stopped to consider how much life had really thrown, and how he coped before he learnt to smile at it all.

Red's attitude, they reasoned, could explain it. Why smile when people treated you like scum, like a demon? This response was much more reasonable, and it made them wonder if that was Allen's first response, too.

It didn't take them long to find him, they were back in the Magic and Tricks tent, and spotted the boy at a crowded table. His cheekbone was bruised, his lip cut, and blood poured from his hairline and down the side of his face, but he was performing. It was a cup stacking act, and the three of them watched as his hands whipped like lightning, stacking and collapsing the red cups atop the table to applause. It was simple, yet endearing to watch, and his damaged face graced itself with a content expression, the softest they had seen so far. Lost amidst a circus act was the only time it seemed the boy could truly smile.

As the cups seem to deteriorate to one, the boy was yanked away from the table and dragged out of sight. The crowd may have been watching, but had failed to notice the dangerously suspicious exit from the loud scene, as other performers took their attention.

But the three exorcists had seen, and almost battered the crowd to get past. They followed behind a brightly coloured banner and caught sight of a small figure being dragged by a large clown, the boy protesting profanely. They exited the tent and the trio followed without a pause, coming out into a small darkened clearing. It was lit only by oil lamps, and it seemed to be an area restricted for the performers only, and right at that moment it was empty.

The clown, under the light of a nearby oil lamp, turned out to be a very angry Cosimo.

"You were the little bastard who sabotaged my act!" He hissed, throttling the boy, neither of them noticing the three onlookers.

"What the fuck are you-" Red started, but the clown threw him down and proceeded to repeatedly kick him in the ribs and stomach.

Lavi immediately darted forward. Never mind research, he couldn't just stand there and watch this. He pulled the boy back and up from the ground, away from his violent attacker. Kanda stepped in a second after Lavi did, actually drawing his sword on the man.

"I suggest you run. Now." His glare almost the flattened the man, and after a short stare-down, he fled.

Red was propped against a supply crate, his head hanging almost as if in shame. "I don't need your damn help, leave me alone." He muttered around a mouthful of blood, not raising his head in the slightest. Lavi tried to ignore the protests of Komui through the earring, staring at the forearm that seemed to glint between the boy's glove and sleeve. It was blood red and scaled. Just like Allen's.

"What's your name, kid? And don't say Red." Lavi spoke gently, while Lenalee and Kanda kneeled either side of him, waiting too.

"I don't have a name, I told you. Leave me alone, please." His voice reduced to a broken whisper at the end, almost as if he couldn't speak past a lump in his throat. Lavi stared incredulously at the boy as he heard a sob, and the shine of tears trickling off of his face and onto his gloved hands. He looked utterly defeated, his defences finally broken, his body battered and beaten. He brought his knees up to wrap his arms around them and leaned his head onto his arms, his shoulders shaking.

The cold air seeped through Lavi's clothes and he wondered how he must feel. He knew this was Allen, there was no mistaking his arm. But he couldn't come to grips with seeing his broken form crying helplessly in utter misery that he knew he couldn't stop. The boy was only half of Allen's age now, and he had so much more hardship to face that Lavi couldn't understand how he had withstood it all. So lost in thought, Lavi almost missed his next action which confirmed their beliefs. He hooked his fingers under the edge of the glove covering his left hand, and pulled it off in a swift motion. The three of them immediately cast their eyes on the glinting green stone they knew to be Innocence, but could not tell him.

"This is why I'm trash, worthless. This is why…This is…" His eyes were full of tears and his face was almost gleaming wet silver.

"Don't say that!" Lenalee exclaimed, though quietly. They were all uncomfortable, all knowing that they had overstepped the mark, and were invading something deadly private. Even Kanda fidgeted, trying to avoid looking at the young Allen.

Lenalee tried again, "You, you're not-"

"Hello there. I had wondered where you went." Mana's voice filtered softly over, and soft thuds told them he was behind the three crouched down. "Allen's missing. Come here, boy." He was speaking so softly they almost missed it, but to their surprise, he listened and rose. His arm was a shocking red under the dirty light of the lamps.

"Red?" Mana said. The boy looked up. "Don't let that arm dictate who you are, don't give up hope on this life. Only you choose your path, but once you've found it, never stop walking. Always keep walking." His last words seemed directed at no one in particular, and almost sounded like a comforting mantra the man often recited, and it invoked memories in the trio of Allen saying the same thing.

It seemed Allen and Mana had forgotten they were there, Allen so focussed on any sort of support and comfort, and finding it in Mana's words, and he finding something else in the boy too. Something he had already lost.

"Walk until you die, Allen." Mana said weakly. "Walk until you die."

"…Allen?" He whispered back, confused.

Lavi watched Mana's face intently, he seemed detached, sad, and very distant.

"Of course, I wondered where you went. I saw Cosimo find Allen, and he beat him until the poor thing died." He seemed genuinely sad, but no tears came.

"Aren't you sad? He was your friend…" Allen replied, noticing this detail.

"Of course, but Allen's here now too. Allen's here, too. Come on, Allen, I think it's time we left again for another place to work. I don't like it here anymore." He turned and walked a few steps and slowly stopped.

Allen was rooted to the stop, staring. Lavi wondered what Mana was talking about, he knew Red wasn't his dog, but he was treating him like the permanent old friend he had by his side.

"Come on Allen, let's start a new life again." He beckoned him and turned away to walk.

Out of desperation for his lost friend to be found again, regardless of form, Mana called Allen to him.

Out of desperation to be found and cared for, regardless of why, Allen followed him.

* * *

><p><strong>Things changed regarding Allen's naming and the dog and whatnot because Lavi, Kanda and Lenalee intervened, if you were wondering. <strong>

**It probably wouldn't have turned out that way anyway, but I wanted to highlight the fact that Mana may have been suffering psychologically with his dog and his brother's death, as I saw it suggested somewhere before while researching the 14th. I think Allen would have accepted both new names because all he was before was the demon boy, the freak with a red arm, and with his name there was no getting away from it. So I thought it would take little persuasion for him to take any opportunity to get out of that situation, even if it meant following a mentally addled clown and drinking in his beliefs and words.  
><strong>

**Thank you for reading, I almost have up on this several times while writing it. Please review! I really have mixed feelings about this, and it would be good to hear opinions that agree or differ form my own about Allen and Mana. I think they're an interesting duo, and people don't focus enough on the psychology in Allen's mind when he was younger. Although I didn't really. lol. **

**Sorry for the long notes, thanks for reading and please review.  
><strong>


	2. Acceptance

**Okay, this _WAS_ a one-shot, seriously. But apparently I made a bit of a (massive) editing error and I have to kind of…fix that constructively, without going back and changing the story. Plus I had a bunch of ideas in this plot that could work with or against the first part. But this is definately the end! It's now a two-shot. I hope you enjoy.  
><strong>

* * *

><p>It had taken a while for the three to move, the cold air seemed to root them to the spot, forcing them to see the facts as they were. Red was a false name given to the child, labelling him the demented boy of the circus. But now they knew that Allen was just another false name, one labelling him as a memory that Mana wont let die. Once Lavi had realised this, it seemed to create a rift between the exorcists and Allen, alienating him further from his friends.<p>

Lavi finally registered the voices screeching at him through his earpiece. _~"Lavi? Laavi? Your second location is set, whenever you're ready, Lavi-?"~_

"Yeah…? Yeah, we're good, right?" His voice a little weak, he turned to the others. Lenalee seemed speechless, and Kanda was facing away and staring at the ground with his arms crossed, his expression unreadable. They both simply nodded.

"Right…right." He said more assertively to Komui, and he heard Bak instructing Miranda in the background.

The air around them seemed to stretch and condense, just like when they had arrived, and they felt themselves lifting and falling once again. They landed in soft grass, Lavi stumbling backwards and falling. His back hit stone, and he breathed out heavily from the transportation.

"Where are we?" Lenalee questioned, her breath misting in their new and even colder surroundings. It was almost pitch black, save for the giant crescent moon hanging in the sky, illuminating the area beneath. They were in…

"…A graveyard." Kanda said meaningfully, but Lavi missed the importance.

"Why-"

A scream cut them off, one of sheer terror and grief, coming from the direction of a grassy hill adjacent to the church. Lavi recognised it immediately, and his gut twisted at the familiar sound of pain coming from their younger friend in the distance. He had to remind himself why he was here. They needed to watch Allen's reaction to the curse, as Komui suspected Cross may have held something back, out of unintentional affection for the boy after monitoring him for three years.

Lavi knew what they were here for, but as soon as he heard his friend's cry of anguish, he decided it could wait. He didn't want Allen to hurt all the time, he more than anyone seemed to bear the brunt of horrible tragedies and occurances beyond his control. Lavi would try anything to subdue those tragedies, if only for one moment in a time that could never be truly altered.

They neared the base of the hill just as a laugh echoed- the Earl. Lavi, Lenalee and Kanda ascended the slope faster than was necessary, but none slowed down. They almost came to reach the top, they could hear the akuma's- Mana's- assault on the boy, where they knew his innocence would be activating for the first time. Before they could encounter the scene, however, a shadow dropped from seemingly nowhere, and told them;

"Don't interfere. This is the past, you know you can't change it, so just sit back and watch." The voice of Marian Cross chided them, obstructing their path to Allen.

"You took your time", Kanda said rudely, annoyed at how lenient the rules could be when it concerned this particular General.

"I wasn't interested in the circus misery, this is what I had come to see." He replied calmly, as if the emotional agony Allen had suffered was just a fact in a book he'd read. Lavi brushed aside the knowledge that that was how _he_, the junior bookman, was really supposed to act, and instead turned his head towards the sound of an akuma's last pained plea.

"Allen…I…love you." The Akuma's distorted voice sounded odd, but a caring undertone that was human softened the words. An explosion followed, and finally Mana left this world. Or at least physically.

Noticing the Earl had already left, the three of them creeped nearer, sheltering in the shadows. It was a pointless effort, as the boy was so grief-stricken and shocked that he couldn't even stand, let alone spot watching people in the darkness. Allen slumped against the grave behind him, a familiar scene of only minutes ago to the three exorcists. He gripped his head silently, already, the hair seemed paler under the light of the moon, but the boy made no sounds. Not a sob, not a word.

Lavi decided this would be the appropriate time to intervene, and without waiting for an instruction from the womanizing General, he stepped forward. As he neared the stunned collapsed form, he quickly noted how he had witnessed both the beginning and the end of Allen and his adoptive father's relationship. Or at least _heard_ the horrible end of it. Kanda had somehow reached Allen first, and kneeled at the side of him, frowning at the boy.

"Allen" He said brusquely, and Lavi heard Cross' footsteps behind him.

The shocked boy didn't reply, just stared at the ground ahead of him, eyes blank.

Cross said, "I think my own past self will be arriving in 'bout 20 minutes, so we need to move this along a bit." He stepped forward and stared down at the 10 year-old, his intimidation going unnoticed.

"What do we do?" Lenalee asked, unable to tear her eyes away from Allen's pale, blank face.

"You sing, obviously. Shock him a bit more." Cross lit up a cigarrette, oblivious to the impatient glare Kanda was trying to incinerate him with.

"…What do you mean?" Lavi finally asked, seeing as Cross wasn't about to enlighten them, and they were running out of time.

"The Musician's song. Sing it." he ordered, and they understood.

"That's cruel, he'll remember Mana!" Lenalee said, to which Cross pointedly replied,

"If you want a reaction related to the 14th, you need to call out it, not give him a bleeding shoulder to cry on." They looked uncomfortable at that, and remembered that their last mission hadn't produced any results on the 14th, but rather showed them a little about Allen as a child.

"I'm not singing." Kanda said abruptly, looking back to the still form of Allen, whose hair was significantly whiter.

"Lavi shook his head at Cross, then the two turned to Lenalee, who panicked slightly.

"I- I don't know the words." She said truthfully, desperately glancing at Allen, although he hadn't moved an inch.

"Hum it." Cross ordered, taking a drag on his cigarrette and blowing smoke into the chilly air.

So she did. She was shaky at first, then grew more confident and relaxed as she remembered the restoration of the ark, hearing the piano playing softly as if from nowhere. The more she hummed, the more Allen twitched, until his heels were dragging up and down in the dirt, and he was silently clawing his whitening hair. Lenalee tried not to falter at this, until he started making pained animal-like cries, and shaking his head fervently.

"N-No…" He breathed, "Mana…was it me or him?" he squeaked so silently only Kanda picked it up, instantly debating whether 'him' was Allen or Neah, or perhaps both.

"Keep humming, nearly there." Cross almost sounded bored, and Lavi resisted the urge to actually strike the man where he stood. He hadn't forgotten that this man was one of the causes of Allen's deep pain which he rarely showed, that pain which was causing him to self-destruct into a more tolerable form; the 14th.

Lenalee continued, and Allen was almost thrashing on the floor, his wailing increasing in urgency, until he suddenly threw his head back. His hair was solid white, his eyes shining quicksilver as he stared solemnly up at the sky. His hands rested limp by his sides, his discomfort forgotten as he continued Lenalee's abandoned hum, finishing the song. His eyes were glazed, his posture relaxed, and Cross took the opportunity.

"Neah." He said stolidly.

"Cross." He replied evenly and almost dreamily. The three young exorcists stared. The Fourteenth. It couldn't be, not this soon, and not this easy. That must be why Cross was here now; he knew the circus trip had been a waste of time.

Lavi kept his mouth firmly clamped, ensuring he wouldn't jeopardize the moment. Cross asked a question.

"It's been a while, huh Neah?" A casual question to a former friend, Allen's silver eyes locked with Cross' wine ones.

"Where's…where's the Earl? It's about time I visit some more of my old friends…" His smiled widened, and shivers ran down Lavi's back that were completely unrelated to the cold weather. How could they hope to protect Allen from this?

He slid back up the grave and Kanda tensed, his hand resting on Mugen's hilt. Neah turned to face the grave, reading it's name and narrowing his eyes.

"So, he's really dead. Is that why…" He looked down at his hands, his red arm, his child-like clothes. "He's younger than I had hoped. He can't fight, either."

"So don't try running!" Lavi blurted, sickened by the sight of Allen moving like that. Like the Fourteenth. If this was how he would protect Allen, here or in the present, then so be it. Stopping Allen from hurting others while out of his normal state of mind, is what he would want.

Neah turned to face him, but was suddenly pinned to the stone behind him by a sword. Mugen had been stabbed his clothes near the neck, and into the grave by a few centimetres; it would hold down a child like himself.

Kanda gripped the hilt, and glared into Neah's eyes, "I think I preferred the less arrogant bean sprout." He said to the others, as if the Noah wasn't there.

Cross chuckled, blew smoke into the two boys' faces and said, "We're almost outta time, m'afraid. So, Neah, how d'you suppose we get old Allen back?"

He almost hissed in return, and said "He wont come back; as soon as I've gained complete control of this body, I wont give it back. I'll make sure to ruin any life he had, so if he could ever return, he'll be too weak to stop me from taking over whenever I feel like it. Besides, Cross, you know that I will make sure people die, his friends." He turned his malicious gaze onto a horrified Lenalee, and narrowed his eyes at Kanda and Lavi, then smiled again.

_~"Hurry, Lavi, Miranda can't hold out much longer."~ _Bak was on the speakerphone this time, sounding grave at what he had just heard.

Lavi felt powerless. For all their wishing and wanting to help, even if Kanda is a little slow to admit it, they were powerless to help Allen in a situation like this. How could they possibly save Allen from himself? From what he was? It seemed there was no getting around the fact that he was a Noah, and he _was_ their natural enemy.

Kanda glared at his weapon, Lenalee cried to the floor, and Lavi silently mourned to the moon overhead. Their fears being realized that Allen is, and will always be, the enemy. They had learned of no remedy to the inevitable, and only of Neah's pure conviction to take control and go to the Earl, meaning that Allen really was the liability Link and Leverrier had accused him of.

When he stepped back to observe the small boy in the clutches of a Noah, he realized that they would soon have to prepare to permanently detain a danger. That danger- their friend, Allen Walker. Lavi closed his eyes, unwilling to watch his young friend any further. There was one thing he _had_ learned from the deluded Mana and grief-stricken Allen:

That no amount of desperation on anyone's part was going to create a solution to an undeniable fate.

* * *

><p><strong>I actually think this Neah part could happen in the AnimeManga, what with him being so weak at the time it might only take a painful memory of Mana and the Fourteenth to set him off. It's weird how drastically plots can be changed with just a simple adjustment. Anyway I really hope you liked this part, I'm just as doubtful as I was with the first. I think it's because of the time intervention thing that just makes me think it's unnatural and not meant to happen or something.**

**Well it was a little darker than the first, but that was sort of a way of coming to terms with it all (though I suppose you would have already guessed that by now), and then having to deal with it and move on. Not sure why I put these explanation things here. **

**Anyway, please review, let me know if this rounds things off and is any good. Thanks for reading!**


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